asian status upgrade!
We make excuses for people. We like to believe in the good of those around us, that even with their flaws, they are still essentially good. There is no denying that there is truth in that. But how do you measure one’s goodness, versus the rest. The crimes they haven’t committed? The people they have helped?
And when they fall short of that goodliness, we justify for them why they fell short. They forgot. They didn’t know. That’s just who they are.
So begins a cycle. Something happens, an excuse is made, all is forgiven without a second thought. As a child, normally a punishment is made so that the lesson is instilled upon the child, and they know better growing up, but as an adult, such lack of punishment, is taken for granted.
Soon enough, resentment begins to build up inside us. We begin to see other peoples flaws as annoyances and inconveniences. The excuses become negative character traits that are pushed onto them, whether they are actually those traits or not.
Eventually anger brews, and anger will definitely come with some form of hate.
What’s worse is when that anger goes unrecognized and unnoticed by the ones who caused it.
In a more personal context, I am aware that I am not without flaw. I know there are things that I do, that are not well looked upon by others. I know that I can hold my standards up pretty high for others, and even higher for myself. Lastly I know that I’m not happy.
I get this feeling everyone thinks that I can handle my own because I never ask for help. Rather I am always the one who seems to be giving the help, even though it may not be blatantly asked. In my heart that is the right thing to do: think about others, see what needs to be done, and help. It’s been the hardest thing to realize that a majority of people don’t see it that way. It’s always about “looking out for number 1” to them.
My roommate once told me that I don’t have to help them. Count on them being able to help themselves.
That’s such … a sad statement. a sad suggestion to me. That I should not worry or care about other people. To not help if I can. Just…. ignore it? In reality that’s what this world is though isn’t it? Egocentric.
And it hurts more that the amount of effort and care I try to give to other people isn’t reciprocated. Courtesies I give to others aren’t returned. I’m just the after thought. They take care of their priorities first and then if it by chance doesn’t affect me than fine. If it does affect me than I guess I get to deal with it.
I just can’t deal with it anymore.
If this is what you wanted, if you wanted to break me, then congrats, you’ve done it.