So I went on a drive today. It’s not something I’ve done since high school, though I haven’t really needed to since I drive up and down California frequently enough. But I decided to do this anyways today to try to clear my head, but it didn’t really work. Now a days with iPhones and Laptops, you never really disconnect from society and from life really. I started the drive, with a text message waiting for me to read it, and the entire drive, my mind kept wandering back to that text, who it was, how I’d respond, etc. After an hour and a half of driving around LA, up and down hills, on and off freeways trying to avoid Jamzilla, I decided it was a good time to head home, and do work.
The point of my drive was to take my mind off things, not school things, but social things. For the past several months, things seem to just be getting by. I don’t have those amazing “omg this is so fricken awesome” days. Everything is just. edging by from day to day, trying not to do something incredibly stupid. That’s me, dealing with being depressed. Though perhaps I hide it well. I don’t know. No one around me ever seems to worry, or care. Save maybe one and she’s an hour away from me and can’t help all the time. Or maybe I’ve lived so on my own that no one thinks I need help.
All the feelings of being alone in this world rushed back again a couple days ago. I was having a horrible day and not one person tried to help me out. Even after spending the last couple days helping other people out, the only thing that came back to be was the shit that hit the fan.
I know, I have issues. My blog is either filled with reposts or sad/emo posts like this one. But maybe if I post them enough… well someone is bound to hear it right?